SCARRED FOEVER!  In 6^th grade, Dennis Burns is told to go down to check the kiln in the side room at the main office.  He walks in on Blanche Leedy smoking.  He is shocked  [all this happened, up to here]  . . . and scarred for life!  The below is something like his nightmares about it:

“INNOCENCE - - GONE FOREVER!”

NARRATOR

 It was, in all, a cataclysmic day.

ACT I: “THE OFFICE”

Leedy whips around puffing on a Marlboro and fixes her demonic stare on the young kiln-checker.

 

THE AVALANCHE

<in an Exorcist voice>

Listen up now, kid -- what you've seen here STAYS here.  GOT IT? 

DENNIS
"Uh . . .  yup . . . <gulp> . . . yes, Ma'am.

THE AVALANCHE

Cause you know what happens if I find out
you've TOLD anyone, don't you?

DENNIS
Uh . . .  I'm afraid to guess, Ma'am.

THE AVALANCHE

DEATH!  DEATH! THAT'S WHAT! 

FOR YOU AND EVERYONE YOU HAVE EVER MET!"

DENNIS
Oh, OK, Ma'am

THE AVALANCHE

Have I made myself clear?

DENNIS
Oh, yes, Ma'am, very clear.

THE AVALANCHE

And just for this, NO, you CAN'T have that coffee cup
you made in ceramics class. 
So GO BACK WITHOUT IT!

DENNIS
OK   . .

Uh . . . what do I tell Mrs. Weadock and the class?

THE AVALANCHE

You mean, tell Alice the Wiccan? 

Say nothing.  Just go to the board, silently draw a pentagram,

and be seated.  She'll understand.

DENNIS
Hokay.  Hokay. Bye.  Bye now.

THE AVALANCHE

NOW OFF TO THE DEUCE WITH YOU, YOUNG MAN!

The poor lad runs tottering down the hall, too terrified to even scream.

BLACKOUT

- - -

LATER AT HOME THAT NIGHT . . .

ACT II:  “A SILENT SUPPER”

At home that night, the chastened lad sits dolefully at dinner,
unable to eat a bite.

MRS. BURNS
What's wrong with you tonight?

LOST SOUL
Nuthin.

MRS. BURNS
Come on, get started on those sweet potatoes. 

What's the trouble?

LOST SOUL
<huge sigh>

Can't say.

MRS. BURNS
Sure -- you can tell us.

LOST SOUL
NO I CAN'T!

<He rushes from the table>

MRS. BURNS

Get back here this instant!

Where in God's name are you going?

A minute later, the lad returns bearing the Good Book,

opened to Genesis. 

LOST SOUL

Here, Mom.  Read this.

MRS. BURNS

OK . . . let’s see . . . it’s about Adam and Eve

in the garden . . . OK . . . all right . . .
What are you trying to say?

LOST SOUL

I . . .  I . . . I have partaken of the Tree.

<He faints.>

NARRATOR

His poor mom, fearing the worst, decides
this must be the time to get out the sex education books
and when Dennis awakens, he is given
a very bewildering talk that he never expected to hear.

And so, my friends  . . . when you are asked
to bear the mantel of checking on the kiln . . . just know this . . .
YOUR LIFE IS GONNA CHANGE!

 

<OPENING NOTES OF BEETHOVEN’S 5^th

PROVIDE A PORTENTOUS END>