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THE POWER OF GOALS CLUBS
By Robb Murray
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens
the countenance of his friend." --Proverbs
No matter what the focus of our endeavors in life, there is a simple tool that can boost our effectiveness. I call it the goals club.
A goals club is a moral partnership by two people who agree to meet on a regular basis for a set period of time (say, four weeks). The purpose is to bring out each other's best. You therefore agree to provide an audience for one another, to give feedback and problem-solving input (if requested) and to be an accountability source for discrete goals to which each commits.
Much could be said about the values of goals clubs, but I find that people who buy into the concept at all do so readily, without much need for persuasion. Let me therefore explain how I go about this kind of arrangement. If you have ideas for fine-tuning this to your own style, so much the better.
I have found goals partners among friends, through ads in the paper and on the web, and through professional and other networking groups.
The format of the meetings is this: during a meting lasting 60 to 90 minutes, my partner and I alternate having the floor for discussion, for ten minutes per turn. During your turn, you describe as accurately as you can the state of your endeavors, whatever you construe those to be. Your partner makes notes so as to remember your story from week to week.
Your partner is primarily present for moral support, not advice giving. The partners' jobs are to provide an audience for accurate hearing, to gently offer help when something is hard to express or frame, and then to offer resource ideas or feedback if requested
During Meeting One, you lay out a few goals that you want to see happen by a month from that date. You pick goals areas where you are stuck, not where you know you will accomplish the outcomes anyway. You want the club to boost you into new and better territory.
A person may not know exactly what goals to shoot for as you first begin your discussions but, as you converse and describe, people invariably discern their needs. The club really improves members' awareness of where they are going and want to go.
To get the most out of the meetings, I prepare before each of them for ten minutes or so, taking stock and listing my issues and a few "goals candidates" (seed ideas from which I may draw during the meeting if I wish).
To stay on track, I use a timer that rings every ten minutes. This keeps peoples' turns fair. When the ten minutes are up, it is vital that you immediately yield or take the floor, as the case may be. Don't get into a pattern of saying too many "that's OK: go ahead"s or somebody is going to get cheated. Keep this win/win. When someone has an urgent point that is being made, make a note and remind the person about the topic at the next turn if necessary.
Towards the end of each meeting, begin to funnel your comments towards action steps that will advance your major goals. You want to end up with a handwritten list of five goals. Read them over again to confirm that these are the best possible goals for the week. Make them:
--specific
--doable (not too big)
--genuinely desired, and
--exciting, a stretch
Then write at the bottom, "I promise to do all these goals" and certify with a signature. This is to underscore the solidity of your commitment. You do not want to get together to simply express vacant hopes. You are stating by your promise that you refuse to waste your time and that of your goals partner by idle chatter. Photocopy the finished goals so both partners have them.
The first week, you set 5 goals each. If so moved, call or e-mail each other before the next meeting to check in or provide extra encouragement. This may not be necessary unless the goals are very strenuous. Sometimes I like to e-mail my partner as the various goals are completed, which keeps up the feeling of being in touch. Your overarching objective is to get good at framing goals that are strongly desired and within your power to accomplish in a week's time, and then to follow through.
At each succeeding meeting, you begin your first turn by accounting for your previously stated goals. If you have completed all your goals that week as planned, you can go up to 7 goals, then to 9, then 11. If you had trouble and did not finish what you wanted to, talk about what happened. Then step back and begin again a general discussion of the things you are striving for. Get a fresh grip and set fresh goals for next time.
After the fifth meeting, you are done with that campaign and you can discuss in brief where you still intend to go. Then, thank each other and adjourn, or go have dinner. If you want another campaign, I'd recommend waiting at least a few weeks before meeting again to give things time to rebalance. If you were cranking very hard at all on your goals, you will need a break anyway!
Both the time limits within each meeting and the finite number of planned weeks of the club lend urgency to your work. The feeling is: "If you are going to get it said or done, get to it now." Neither you nor your partner has forever.
If a person doesn't accomplish all the goals committed to in a week, the next set of goals can be no more numerous than that original number. If even that number is not all accomplished during the week after that, take off two of the allowable goals going forward. This assures that no one is unwittingly falling into a pattern of constantly over-committing, and it can be a great relief to realize you are trying too hard, and to back off.
Give this idea a try with a friend or colleague and see what it does for you. And if you can't find a partner, give me a call at (773) 975-8020. I am always glad to partner up with new, motivated friends who want more out of work and life.
FURTHER RESOURCES:
Ideas and Support for Your Goals
"New Years Resolutions Generator"
Success Teams – Barbara Sher
Setting Goals for Health and Success – Dr. Joseph Mercola
Various Other Goals Systems: